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Lessons on Blogging From Lessons on Love

Not too long ago, I received a rejection letter from one of the top ranked blogs in the writing niche.

We’re talking about the “BMW” of blogs, folks!
I admit that I was confused and hugely disappointed when it arrived.

Mind you that this rejection was on the heels of an Email where they had initially given high praise for my work, and simply requested a few revisions.
“You write well” was what they wrote when they responded to my original submission.

In my mind, I followed their directions to the letter.
Heck, who wouldn’t, given the high level of exposure that a guest post on this site would bring?
Still, they sent me a “Dear John” letter.
We would have no future together.
(It’s kind of like the breakup that you never saw coming).
Can you “feel me” here? Ouch!

I admit that in my earlier years, this news would have rocked my world and sent me in a blue funk for days. There was so much riding on this.
But, not anymore. Sure, I was disappointed but not devastated.
I’m in a different place now. And I’ll tell you why.

I’ve reconciled myself to the fact that rejection is a normal part of life. Nobody escapes it, whether you’re Jennifer Aniston, Halle Berry, Keanu Reeves, or Donald Trump.
And the savvy writer knows how to use those emotions and experiences to be creative and move forward in his/her career.

I see it kind of like love and relationships. No pain no gain. Right?

Speaking of which—Here are a few other lessons I’ve learned from love that can be applied to blogging or writing in general.

1. One man’s junk is another man’s treasure. Although I’ve had a pretty successful writing career, I’ve still had editors send me denial letters that were bordering on cruelty, and made my creative ability seem questionable. But, I’ve learned not to personalize it. And you shouldn’t either. I kid you not; one editor would reject a piece that I was able to sell successfully somewhere else the very next day without any problems! This just goes to prove, “different strokes for different folks.”

2. Blogging like relationship success takes hard work. Even when things look dim, or folks are not posting any comments, or showing any “online love” hang in there. Sometimes it takes a while for things to click.

3. Humor helps you to put things in proper perspective. If you can laugh about it, you can live through it. Trust me.

4. Don’t be bitter be better. Use constructive criticism, (whether it’s personal or professional), to develop your skills, self reflect, and broaden your horizons.

5. Remember to keep your head up. Regardless as to the circumstances, never feel ashamed of any “perceived failure”. If you gave the situation your best, and that “ole college try,” stand tall!
It’s okay to have an “achey breaky heart”, just don’t let it do you in. Positive self esteem is essential.

What lessons on relationships have you learned that can be applied to blogging or the creative process? Do tell.

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  1. amy parmenter ) says: 3/24/2010

    Jennifer! Great analogy. Is there a writer who has not had his/her heart broken? Having interviewed many a successful writer, artist, entrepreneur, etc. the one commonality that stands out is their ability to stay true to their passion, embracing rejection and heartbreak as temporary — and simply part of the process. The great thing about writing, like love, is that when you DO find the right connection, there’s even a sense of gratitude for the rejection because it led you to a better place. Thanks for the reminder.


    • Jennifer Brown Banks ) says: 3/24/2010


      I couldn’t have said it better. Thanks for your input and your time.


  2. Nikola ) says: 3/26/2010

    It seems that writers are a thicked skinned, tenacious bunch that tends to keep going and going and going – somewhat like that famous pink, drum beating bunny.
    I like to think my rejection letters are rites-of-passage – kind of lessons the sting of disappointment and validates that oh soooo sweet feeling, when someone “gets my work”.


  3. Nikola ) says: 3/26/2010

    Make that lessens :)


  4. Jennifer Brown Banks ) says: 3/26/2010


    I dig where you’re coming from. That’s the one great thing about being a writer–it prepares you so well for life’s triumphs and tribulations. We have no other real choice but to be tough. :-)
    I appreciate your feedback.


  5. Ernest Dempsey says: 4/21/2010

    I find blogging more open to creativity than relationships where social norms, values, and practices almost always occupy the center stage. Interestingly, a relationship with writing/blogging itself gives you more freedom and self-respect than most human relationships. At least that is how I look at writing versus relationships.

    Thanks for bringing this interesting topic up!


  6. Jennifer Brown Banks ) says: 4/21/2010

    You’re welcome, Ernest. Thanks for sharing your interesting perspective on this topic as well.